Valentine's Day...ugh. You know the people who are total bah humbugs during the holidays? That's me with Valentine's Day.
Don't get me wrong...I love that handsome feller in the photo above, but we love each other just as much every other day too. It could be because I really just am not a fan of either pink or red, and seeing it everywhere for the last month makes my head spin...not in a good way.
Flowers are cool...but not when they die in a week yannow? Gifts? My birthday is in a couple weeks and I'd rather get things we NEED. Chocolate? The fiance (above) LOVES his chocolate, so when he's having a craving, we buy some from the gas station. I'm not a big fan of it. He writes me a love note every day to wake up to and sends me a text telling me he loves me as soon as he gets to work.
I guess I'm just THAT person that feels like it's not necessary to dedicate a day to show love for each other, and I'm with all of you who think it's too commercialized.
What this day REALLY is to me...my dad's birthday. Today, he'd be 56 years old. My mom sent a text to me not 10 minutes ago letting me know how old he would have been today, and I couldn't help but burst in to tears.
There's certain times out of the year that losing him really hits me hard. The holidays, today (his birthday), and the anniversary of his accident.
Damn do I miss that guy.
When you lose someone, they always say things will get easier. But the heaviness never goes away. Do the days get easier? Absolutely. But it's days like today where I can't help but think of all the amazing times we had together growing up.
Camping, fishing, exploring, having a beer or five together, turning to him when I had boy troubles for him to say, "Fuck him! You deserve better anyways." He was always honest and so supportive of everything I did in life. I know he'd love my fiance Talon.
For anyone reading this having an amazing, squishy, full of love day...sorry to rain on all that with my dark cloud of sadness. Today's been rough. It is every year. I come to this blog to tell you about my life, and this is what's weighing on me today.
I would give anything to hug him one more time...to hear him say, "love you kid," with a kiss on the top of my head...to hear his laugh...to explore with him...just one. more. time.
My eyes are filling up with tears for the millionth time today. I'll end with this...
Hold your loved ones close. Pick up the phone and call a family member today and tell them you love them. Spend time with them, take lots of pictures to remember those good times. Hug them tight and love them hard. <3
Love & Light,